They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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