did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
