Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
