While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
