When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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