Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
