garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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