my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
