I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
