his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
