do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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