Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize