Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
