Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize