yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I looked at my own cervix.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
