I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
