every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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