i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
