ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
