My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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