Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
