That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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