the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
