i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The best revenge is premature balding
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
