you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
