Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
