glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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