Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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