ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
