Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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