Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
