i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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