their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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