yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
