Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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