4 words: hood of his car
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
