Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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