Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the day after is always just damage control
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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