Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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