I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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