I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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