ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
