I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
