maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
