its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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