In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
