She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
