flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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