babies were throwing up all over the place
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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