some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
