Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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