when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
