Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize