I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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