I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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