I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
