May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
