even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
