That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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