I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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