well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
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Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize