brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
