to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
