I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
