what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
All I want is dick and wine.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
