There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
