I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
