ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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