this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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